Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
