Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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