apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
