I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
be right there i have to get my cape
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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