A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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