i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
