My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
