Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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