He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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