What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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