I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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