My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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