did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
