turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
