She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
