Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
