I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
