After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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