GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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