Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
