An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
