He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
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from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
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Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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