In the future we'll all be gay
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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