I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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