Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
