first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Jerry, you need to find god
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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