the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
