Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I want to have your abortion
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
