It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
