herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
