i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
