This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You may now shotgun with the bride
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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