I hope mine doesn't look like that
what day is it and did you see me today?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
