you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You need a sexual gate keeper
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
