oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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