How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
