It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
