Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
