never play flip cup with pint glasses
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
she peed on how many people?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
