remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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