All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
