your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
