I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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