he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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