her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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