To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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