I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
