Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize