Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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