i'm signing you up for texting rehab
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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