oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
