Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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