Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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