He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
