Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
