Have you finally orgasmed yet?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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