my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
