That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
