there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
