i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
