Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
